In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, there’s no better way to express your love than in your own personalized wedding vows. Skip the generic vows of yesterday and take this opportunity to tell your future spouse just how much they mean to you. If the thought of answering the question, “How do I love thee?” is making you break out into a cold sweat, don’t worry. You can do it! I PROMISE! And here’s how:
1. Seek inspiration
There’s no harm in looking at other vows for inspiration. Whether they are religious in nature, or from your favorite book or movie, ask yourself what you like about the words and how they make you feel.
2. Reminisce
Take ample time to reflect on your relationship and your future spouse. How did you meet? When did you know you had fallen in love? What are the highlights (and lowlights) of your relationship? What do you love most about your partner? How have they made you a better person? Use this walk down memory lane to inform your writing.
3. Make promises
Vows are another word for promises, so think about what you actually want to promise your partner. Be careful of borrowing too many poetic quotes or song lyrics at the risk of sounding cheesy. The more specific and personalized you can make your promises, the better. Speak from the heart and you can’t go wrong.
4. Create structure
With your memories and promises clarified, it’s time to think about how you are going to organize your information on paper. There are no hard rules about structure, although one of my favorite ways is to start with a short story or anecdote that captures the essence of your relationship and tie back to the same story at the end of your vows. In between you can express your love and state your actual vows.
5. Keep it short and sweet
Remember that your vows are part of a longer wedding ceremony, so keep them to one or two minutes max. Advance rehearsal is a must, so take the opportunity to time yourself and make sure you’re not taking too long. As you practice, make sure the words flow smoothly, or make some edits. And don’t forget to practice standing up straight and making eye contact with your beloved.
If you start the process and can’t get your vows to where you want them, feel free to reach out and I can take you through the process step by step.